Dating bpd

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I dated a BPD for 3 years, she spent the entire time throwing fits, starting fights and then topped it off with a cheating! This bothered her, until I got her pregnant. All the other holidays she would create problems from absolutely nothing and leave for a day or until I try to fix things with her.

She anon told me the sex we were having was dating bpd much for her because I could do anything I wanted to her and she would want me. One of my exes did exactly this to me as I kept improving: getting my own car, then my own place, then a sin job, etc. In order to be in a relationship with a borderline, you must subjugate WHO YOU ARE dating bpd the sickness. A week later she was dating someone new. She said she wanted to work on herself before she tries to get back with me, so I piece she kind of acknowledged that she has some type of problem. I use the pronoun his because more women are diagnosed with BPD; men instead earn the label antisocial much easier.

She had been a cutter, and suffered from bouts of anorexia. They are seeking others on the same boat. With his it is constant control and if you dating someone with BPD the roller coaster is exhausting and damaging your health, happiness and life.

Dating Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder - She says no until I say yes.

In this age of dynamic information, there is often a strange dichotomy framing mental health. Access to lived examples via blogs and social media means people are chipping away at stigmas every day. On the other, more chilling hand, a constant feed of experiences means interpretations of illness can be easily warped. Despite what these sites want you to believe, mental health disorders are not pretty, decorative, or glamorous. Having BPD is like living in a bubble floating in a hazy world of detachment. You know the bubble is going to pop; the real fun is in never knowing when or why. The central issue is that BPD is based around feelings. BPD is more than your standard fragility. Think: extreme rage in unlikely circumstances. Fun fact: Those were both me. BPD in Pop Culture While there are few apt, direct portrayals of BPD in broad society, representations manage to creep into common consciousness through TV, film, and music, leaving the public, at least subconsciously, more aware of the disorder than they may realize. While these representations are regularly problematic, there are some that seize the essence of BPD and help to communicate its existence, flattering or otherwise. Perhaps most pointedly, there is the. Primarily embraced by various forms of media check its extensive , it also manifests itself in everyday life. The trope lambasts women for having emotions, existing mostly to invalidate feelings and to over-exaggerate the reaction women have for not accepting being ghosted, played, or treated poorly. When it comes to Borderline Personality Disorder, the trope is a prime example of the ways in which women suffering from the condition are dismissed out of hand for experiencing emotions that may be extreme, but that are nonetheless valid. Take intense fear of abandonment, one of the main traits of BPD. BPD and My Dating Life Long before I was diagnosed, my first boyfriend bore the brunt: At 17, we should have been exploring ourselves and each other, but he was hacking down my walls while I stood back and burned bridges. After our affair flamed out, it took a number of years for me to even consider opening up again. When I did, that partner bore witness to the opposite tendencies. I was so concerned with not making the mistakes of my first relationship again that I clung for months of intoxicating codependency. Impulsive actions, another defining feature of BPD, also popped up in my relationships. Often for BPDs, they show up as substance abuse, or self-destructive behaviors such as cutting, burning, or binge eating. All of which is followed by intense regret, and, subsequently, more impulsive actions; literally anything will do if it stifles the shame spiral. But, as the heady world of BPD will teach you—it happens. When dating, I spent most of my time fighting similarly reckless impulses, like the day after my ex boyfriend dumped me and I eyed my phone maniacally, dialing his number on a bi-minutely basis, thankfully never giving in to letting it ring, but certainly wasting time I should have been using to focus on my as yet, six years later, un-handed-in thesis. Or the time I mixed impulsive behavior with another, far less discussed aspect of BPD—hypersexuality—by ordering a man off the Internet. Before Tinder was a thing, before I could confide in any friends without fear of being judged, before it was socially acceptable, I trawled that online dumping ground, Craigslist, looking for dick. I only did it once, at the peak of a BPD spiral, feeling dank and musty and unloved and unwanted. The knife went unused; we both left unsatisfied. To be sure, there are definitely hangovers from my worst bouts of BPD, mainly sensitivity to criticism and my old buddy, fear of abandonment. In five years time, where will we be, eh? Dating with BPD requires work. He listens and I try to talk. When we realize good times are happening, we try to live in their ephemerality, while bad times just have to be tholed with as much mutual support as possible. Research and understanding will lead to fairer portrayals in the media, and then navigating the waters of BPD dating will be more manageable for everyone involved. Which is to say, we need a little less Dennis Reynolds and a little more substance.